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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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I finally got up, dusted myself off, and kept walking. I passed by the playground on the corner of Tutu Street. Kids were screaming, having the time of their lives. I remembered my childhood, swinging high, feeling like I could touch the sky. But then, I saw a kid throw a tantrum. Like, full-on meltdown. I couldn’t help but laugh. Kids are hilarious.

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